Round One... Fight!

My grandma had old school Nintendo Street Fighter, where you could beat up the sumo wrestler with the guy that shoots blue fire out of his palms.

 I didn't really know how to play, I just pushed random combinations of buttons as fast as I could and sometimes I got lucky with a special move or two. You're probably thinking this is going to somehow connect to fighting cancer. It doesn't! Except that I hear "Round One, Fight!" in the voice from street fighter. It makes me feel cool to pretend I'm fighting my first round of chemo like Ryu. Maybe next round I'll be the Sumo dude. The guy with stretchy arms is pretty cool too.

I went for my first round of chemotherapy on March 26th. It felt so unreal! It's something other people do right?? And it seemed so opposite to common sense to sit calmly in a chair chatting with strangers voluntarily letting somebody pump my body full of poison. But my brother-in-law has this saying "live the adventure" so I decided to just go with it. It has definitely been an adventure discovering how my body and spirit respond. I know I've been blessed beyond my natural capacity and I'm so grateful for all the people praying for me!

Right off the bat, the worst thing about the chemo experience was the half gallon of benadryl they gave me to start! It made my brain all fuzzy and sleepy and my muscles all jittery. Yuck! After that, the worst side effects I experienced were light headedness every time I stood up and a little queasiness. Oh and I'm thirsty all the time. But I didn't ever get really sick or in pain like they said I would and honestly I've had tons of energy this week!! Since my surgery was not long ago, and I had a minor procedure the day before I started chemo, it was hard to tell what was the chemo and what was just recovering from the surgery. Overall I feel extremely blessed that my body handled it so well. Someone said to me today "you definitely have an angel following you!" I don't believe that. I have an army! It's true. 

The day after chemo the music department had a jog a thon fundraiser where the students earn money for the program by running around the track for an hour. They have competitions between classes to see who can earn our run the most and some of us dress up silly for team unity. I obviously wasn't able to run this year, but I got to go watch from the stands. 

Turns out, all the students decided to wear pink! For me! In fact the whole school declared a spirit day and everyone wore pink that day! The band had pink bandanas and the choir wrote pink and the orchestra wore pink tutus that an awesome parent helped them make. One girl didn't have a pink shirt so she borrowed one from her brother haha. I felt very... It's hard to describe. Humbled and grateful may be the closest. It was so fun to see my students and they were so excited to see me! Everyone was so nice to me. Everybody loves you when you have cancer! haha (that was a joke! But it's true anyway. They feel bad if they don't!). Hopefully I don't get in trouble for posting this picture, but you need to see all the pink! 

A good friend offered me a room in her home while I recovered and our carpets got cleaned. I received many notes and cards and packages from so many loving people and everybody telling me how much they pray for me. The whole community (even from other states) has reached out to support me. It's so nice to not be alone. One thing I'm learning is that being open and letting people help blesses everyone involved. We need each other guys! And angels are both seen and unseen.

I was hoping to be back to school April 1st, but I just wasn't ready by then. I started praying that day that I would be well enough to go to work Monday (weird right?? Who prays that they can go to work on Monday!), and I really believe my recovery has been rather miraculous after that. It has been neat to be able to see measurable progress every day. I got connected with a physical therapist that is one of the few in the valley that specializes in treating people that have had lymph nodes removed like me, and she has just been spectacular! Another miracle. So I went back to work April 6th and it has been going great! I had some intense muscle soreness in the middle of the week, but I've tried to pace myself and I sit a lot. Somehow I made it through the whole week with energy to spare! The kids are so sweet and help me laugh, and the staff is so supportive. 

So the next big adventure: on Tuesday I started to notice that my hair was shedding a bit more than normal and by Friday I was able to pull out big chunks. I'm sure I had enough hair left to leave it for a few more days, but it was messy! And I was getting antsy trying to imagine what I would look like bald... So my friend helped me buzz it! 

So of course the next day I jumped on Pinterest the next morning and learned some scarf tying:

Sorry for all the selfies. Maybe I had a little too much fun haha. Since I don't think I'll get any prizes for my scarf tying skills, thankfully my wig came in the mail last week!  I'm super happy with how it looks and feels, and I'm excited to save prep time washing, drying, and battling my hair into submission every morning.

I thought I would cry or something about losing my hair, but honestly it was the most surreal, funny part of the ordeal so far! My friends and students help me laugh and relax, and have gifted scarves, hair cutting and wig trimming skills. Being bald is just another part of the adventure- what girl hasn't wondered what she looks like with her hair shaved (and wished it once or twice!!)?

Maybe someday I'll cry. Laughing is more fun. A friend asked me the other day when the full weight of the reality that I have cancer actually hit. Well it hasn't yet! This is one of the first times in my life that I am truly able to feel the Lord bearing up my burdens. The scriptures say He can make them light, even so we don't feel them upon our backs.
( Matthew 11:28-30; Mosiah 24:14-15)

I have felt that! Most days I feel like I'm on the outside watching someone else going through my trial. Maybe that is more true than I even realize. It helps me to stay curious, grateful, and to find simple joys in every moment. I am truly at peace with my life, and I pray that all those supporting me will have the same blessing in their lives.

UPDATE: My PET scan came back totally clear! I have physical therapy twice a week, labs once a week, and I see my plastic surgeon nearly every week. I will be doing radiation, but not until chemo is complete. Work is going great! But I will be off again Thursday and Friday for my next round of poison. Cheers!