It's one thing to be dealt something sour and to make the most of it, but sometimes life hands you things harsher than lemons.
http://www.flammfh.com/mobile/obituaries-details.cfm?o_id=3118817&fh_id=11942#obituaries
My sweet sister and brother-in-law had a beautiful baby in February that was born with multiple brain defects. The doctors said he could live anywhere from two minutes to two years, but that at some point his little body would outgrow his ability to maintain it. Miraculously, after he was born he could breath on his own and did well enough to be taken home under the care of his family and visiting nurses.
I got to visit baby Kell a week after he was born and hold him and be close to him. His labored breathing was unsettling, and he had to be fed with a feeding tube, but other than that he was the sweetest calmest baby the world has seen.
Not much like his brothers ;)
The night he was born my grandparents were driving home from the hospital and got in a terrible car crash that they only survived by some crazy miracle.
And for seemingly no reason, in the midst of all the crazy that week, our family's favorite cat passed away. He wasn't very old, but maybe the stress of us all was too much for him.
Silly how we get attached huh?
I've hesitated to share most of this partly because I haven't felt like it's completely my story to tell, partly because my cancer is enough reason to make people feel bad for me (which is not what I want!), and I guess because it's hard to explain how blessed we've been. How the Lord is helping carry our burdens. Oh and I didn't really want to overwhelm everybody! It's a lot to take in.
Thankfully my grandparents have been healing very well; just Tuesday grandpa was able to take his first few steps without his boot on! And Kell surprised everyone by hanging on longer than expected. I got to see him a few more times through FaceTime, but was really hoping I'd be able to spend more time with him when I got home for the summer. Maybe that was selfish.
Little Kell passed away Tuesday night in the arms of his family. It's hard to describe how it feels to lose him! I know it's probably nothing compared to how his parents feel, and it's hard to not be able to be there with them and with the rest of my family right now. What I do know is that it's much more bitter than a couple lemons. And it will take more than sugar to sweeten the pain. He was such an innocent little angel! And it seems so unfair to take him from a family that loves him so much and could give him the world!
His viewing and services were held Friday. I wanted so badly to be there, but unfortunately my brother was the only sibling that could attend with my parents because of our various circumstances.
I have found comfort many times in a tiny little word I have posted in my classroom: the word is yet. I always make my students add it on the end of "i can't" phrases because it reminds them that there are lots of things they used to couldn't do, and lots of future things they will soon be able to do if they keep trying. But the word brings me a lot of comfort in other ways too. My sister doesn't get to raise this child. Yet. It's not okay. Yet. We don't get to be in little Kell's presence and get to know him and play with him right now. But someday, if we can hold on that long, we will. We believe that families are eternal, and that because of the temple, Kell will always be my sister's child and someday they will be united as a family again. It still hurts right now. By a lot. But someday it will be made right.
The final thing that gives me comfort is my Savior. I know he knows how much it hurts, and that he hurt so badly even He wished for all the pain to be taken away. He was crowned with thorns! And it wasn't all ok right away! Sometimes life hands you true sorrow, and in that time He is the only one that truly understands.
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