I've tried to communicate with my students about my cancer a lot. It seems it's only fair for them to know what's going on. I want them to see that hard things come to everybody and you just make the most of what you're given-I've felt like my cancer affects them just as much as it does me. They've dealt with I-don't-know-how-many substitutes and me not being on top of my game even when I could be there. Haha it got so every day I was at work I'd hear "Ms Barnes! You're here!!" And sometimes I'd be as surprised as them! I wanted to get them a little something so my booster president helped me purchase these armbands for them:
It took me a long time to decide what to put on them because I wanted them to really take away something from the experience. But I ended up back on the old cliche of when life gives you lemons... Haha they insist that the true answer is you should make orange juice because then everyone will wonder what you're up to. We wonder that with orchestra kids anyway ;).
Our concert was Monday and I had doctors orders not to wave my arm around because of the stupid blood clot. Thankfully the sub they had longest-Ms. Amelia Ayers-was able to come conduct.
She knows the kids and the songs and did a great job! That's not to say it was easy watching someone else run the show. It was way more more stressful listening to the kids from the audience!! Because I had no pretended control over what came out! But I had a terrible cold that night anyway: sneezy, drippy, headache, sore throat etc. I must have been running on adrenaline because I managed to talk to the audience and parents all night and run around making things work. The students played really well and after the concert the angel kiddos had the whole stage cleaned up before I had the chance to even ask them!! That's love.
My favorite part: We played all pop songs and movie tunes, and a few days before the concert I thought how cool it would be to have an electric bass and too bad we didn't have one... But oh yah we do! And a cool black upright with a pickup the band bought for jazz. My bass players picked up the electric like ducks to water! It's probably the most exciting thing they got to do all year haha.
It was fun to see them excited and motivated because most of the time they are bored at the back of the room snacking on leftover lunch or destroying something without me catching them.
Sister Bradshaw and her son Parker (one of my private cello students) surprised me with flowers from my mom:
Thanks mom!! And Kay! Kay and Sister Faler have been lifesavers through all this but I know neither one would want any credit. Just know if you see these women they are at least one person's heros.
It was a whirl wind week. My chemo had been put off for two weeks because I got a blood clot in my right arm: they couldn't inject in that arm, and they couldn't do it in the other arm because the lymph node removal thing. And they took out my port so the clot could heal faster. Then the first surgery for a new port fell through because I was still on Coumadin and I think by divine providence. Dr Polowy was really glad we didn't do chemo last week with my cold! And in the meantime I decided to have a radiologist put in the port instead of my surgeon, which is proving to be a good decision so far. So the concert was Monday, Tuesday was classroom cleanup and everything check in with the help of my champion booster president, surgery on Wednesday, and chemo Thursday. I was sad to miss the last two days of school-I'm really going to miss my eighth graders because they were my first students ever last year and they were MINE. Because I was all they knew for a Jr High orchestra teacher (ha poor kids!).
I had lots of miracles through the week: before surgery they gave me a load of penicillin that totally knocked out my cold! And Friday after chemo I felt so good I even went to work to get grading and most of check out complete! This round isn't bad so far minus a very small allergic reaction to something. My amazing Dr. called me the minute I sent him a text about it. We finally got him to take a picture:
And this is the Hansens. President Hansen was in my mission presidency and I ran into him at a fireside recently. Turns out he is in the oncology business and knows my doctor! More miracles. And they have been a great support with everything going on the past few weeks. President Hansen and I have decided Dr Polowy would make a great LDS bishop.
Next stop: Idaho! I have a bunch of stuff to do this week to prepare but I can't wait to get back to my family!! As much as I will miss my kids and having something productive to do, I think it will be a relief to not have to juggle chemo and work. And thankfully I can have the rest of my treatments right in Rexburg!
Thanks again for everyone's support and prayers! I hope you can see the miracles in my life because of them. I pray you and yours receive the miracles you need in your lives in return. And every card, Facebook post or phone call helps me feel loved and not alone. Sorry if I don't get the chance to thank you personally. Love you all!
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