For the first time in many years, nobody in my family is on a mission, pregnant, engaged, or with a new baby. And there was this magic one week in July that nobody was in school and everybody managed to get off work and find babysitters so we could take a family trip to Hawaii!
When I tell people we went to Hawaii I feel like we're one of those families that just gets to do that all the time haha. This is the first and only time we have ever been anywhere exotic as a family but it was amazing! I tell people that we went to celebrate the death of 2015, because it was the most hellish year for all of us. Not only was it a dream trip with my siblings, but it was a really healing trip for me.
For the past year and a half my body has been through a lot! It has been constant battering from the chemo, radiation, and several surgeries. I have been on restrictions from swimming and lifting and a lot of other things. Don't get me wrong--I still worked as much as possible and sometimes my doctors laughed at me for trying to do too much! On the other hand, I have had to be careful for so long that I think I forgot how to be my lighthearted, adventurous self. Using all my energy for my job, I didn't have any left to be social. I moved into a new ward in the middle of all of it and I didn't tell very many people my story. It isn't that I didn't want people to know about my cancer, I just was tired of being the 'cancer kid' and I was tired of talking about it. I wanted people to know me as me instead of the girl with cancer. But because I wasn't being open I had a hard time connecting with people!
So fast forward to our Hawaii trip. My doctor told me that by the time I left for the trip I wouldn't have any restrictions left!
Our very first day I put my new swimsuit on my new body and I have to admit I was pretty uncomfortable at first. We found some pretty cool tide pools that you could jump into from a pretty short rock. I really hesitated! It had been so long since I could play in water and jump from things! But I finally jumped in and thus began a part of my healing that I didn't know I needed.
Throughout the week we played hard and had lots of new adventures! I played in waves way over my head and got tumbled like a rag doll in a washing machine. I hiked through a bamboo forest, swung from a rope into the river, jumped off cliffs, and floated in salty sea water. Snorkeling was a scary new experience--I just could not get used to breathing with my face underwater! But eventually I calmed down enough to do it and I got to swim with big sea turtles!
I realized that pushing myself past my comfort zone and experiencing Hawaii's beauty with my family helped me come back to myself. And now that I'm finally through all the treatments and surgeries, suddenly I have more energy than I remember having in a long time! All this time that I have been holding back from physical exertion, I didn't realize how much I was holding back from social interaction as well. Suddenly, I don't care what people think of me, I don't have any special weird restrictions, and I'm ready to dive in. Hopefully I'm more graceful than my water dives!
When I tell people we went to Hawaii I feel like we're one of those families that just gets to do that all the time haha. This is the first and only time we have ever been anywhere exotic as a family but it was amazing! I tell people that we went to celebrate the death of 2015, because it was the most hellish year for all of us. Not only was it a dream trip with my siblings, but it was a really healing trip for me.
So fast forward to our Hawaii trip. My doctor told me that by the time I left for the trip I wouldn't have any restrictions left! Our very first day I put my new swimsuit on my new body and I have to admit I was pretty uncomfortable at first. We found some pretty cool tide pools that you could jump into from a pretty short rock. I really hesitated! It had been so long since I could play in water and jump from things! But I finally jumped in and thus began a part of my healing that I didn't know I needed.
 |
| Kudos to my brother-in-law for the awesome underwater photos! |
I realized that pushing myself past my comfort zone and experiencing Hawaii's beauty with my family helped me come back to myself. And now that I'm finally through all the treatments and surgeries, suddenly I have more energy than I remember having in a long time! All this time that I have been holding back from physical exertion, I didn't realize how much I was holding back from social interaction as well. Suddenly, I don't care what people think of me, I don't have any special weird restrictions, and I'm ready to dive in. Hopefully I'm more graceful than my water dives!
Comments
Post a Comment